Saturday 17 February 2007

What is this all about?

I'd better start out by making something absolutely clear. I am in no way the same Robin Nicholas, the renowned man of the same name who is a famous type designer, I am not related, connected or in any way associated with him, we just share two things, the same name and a passion about type. My history in type goes back a long way to a hot metal typesetters I bought many years ago.
Why the Typesetters Workshop?
Well a long time ago before Bill Gates became a megalomaniac I ran a BBS, that's Bulletin Board System for you newbies, called The Typesetters Workshop. It ran on a 386 PC under MS DOS 3.3, the best OS Microsoft ever produced.
The BBS software was called PC BOARD, some of you oldies might remember it, great piece of software. It was popular and we had the fastest modem you could get in those days, 4800 baud, and we thought that was fast, especially since my first modem was only 300 baud, like watching paint dry.
We ran a company which was a specialist typesetters and reprographic house and the BBS was opened up for our customers to send us files and for them to download utilities and files. We had visitors from all over the world even Australia and New Zealand. We've progressed since then and even though we still do prepress and typesetting we have diversified into digital print. http://www.colourtechgroup.com/
In those far off days there was no Internet as such but there were communities and conferences which was the beginning of the public Internet and we would echo our conferences to a BBS in New York called 'The Sound of Music'. Our users were all techies who were happy running an OS without a GUI and only a command prompt on screen. Joe public hadn't been introduced to 'Windows' software and Amstrad was still a retailer of music systems with just a drawing on a cigarette packet for a possible PC design ... it should have stayed there. Nonetheless, Gates, Sugar et al decided to cash in on the new possibilities of suckering the public into computers, what a terrible mistake. I am of the opinion that there are some people who shouldn't be allowed near technology, like cars, motorbikes, camcorders etc. They just don't have the right mind set for it.
Back in those far off days I realised that the Internet was going to take off and I wrote to British Telecom to ask them what they had in the pipeline for improving speeds over the telephone lines to facilitate better communications for people with computers. Their reply was amazing, they claimed that it was a passing fad and would never take off so they had no plans for expanding the system. I still have that letter they sent to me.


Thus Spake Gates

In the beginning, there was nothing but Apple. And the PC was without form and void, and the darkness was on the face of its hard drive. And Bill said, Let there be DOS: And there was DOS. And Bill looked upon it, and it was good, and with it the PC slew the Apple. And DOS grew and grew, until its number was legion if you counted the decimal points, and still it was good.

And Bill grew large with ambition, and he decreed there should be a processor of words; and lo, there was Word. And Bill sayeth, Let there be a thingy for the crunching of numbers, and lo, there was Excel, and did his kingdom grow apace.

But there had arisen in the land the thing called Macintosh, sprung from the intransigent Apple-men, and Bill looked upon it, and it was better

Rapidly did he decree that Word should be made to run upon it, and after that Excel, and then all the other fruits of his efforts, but still he was wrathful.

So Bill did order his minions to come forth with Windows, and when they did, he looked upon it, and it was bad.

So he sent them back to try again, assuring all the world they would get it right this time, yet they did not.

Unrelenting, Bill forced yet a third mighty blow, and when it came forth, Bill did order his trumpets to blow, and his chorus to sing, and his criers to cry, until the din could be heard throughout the land; and when he looked upon this third version of Windows, he saw it was not all that great, but like hotcakes did it sell.

And thus did Bill gloat, for the world proclaimed he had matched the lowly Macintosh, and his praises were sung throughout the land.

And so he ordered another, mightier, more magnificient version made, and his henchmen and henchwomen did labor hard.

Still it was not forthcoming in the year promised, nor the year promised next, and rumors did abound, and magazines did overflow with secret peeks, and columnists did heap their scorn upon it. And came the minions of the Justice Department, bent upon proving Bill monopolous, yet before his wrath did they quail, and proclaim him innocent, mostly.

And that which was once called Chicago became known as Windows 95, and the suspense built throughout the land, and Bill, remembering what had gone before, set about building a great Hype.

Into his Hype he put the greatest mouths of the land, and scattered the fruits of his profits so heavily that he bought hosts of angels to sing, and Rolling Stones songs, and trumpets and horns and drums without number. As the time of birthing grew nigh, he purchased television time without end, and appeared thereon himself, and bought entire editions of newspapers to give away unto the faithful, and traveling circuses to visit each great city.

And so when Windows 95 was born did hysteria rule the land, as the choirs sang and the trumpets and horns did blare and the televisions and the newspapers charge their followers to go forth and buy.

Heeding this, the populace did rush to the marketplace at the stroke of midnight, when even the cock doth sleep, and did push and shove and come even to blows the better to secure their own copies lest they be thought ignorant, or uncool, or hamsters in the eyes of Bill.

And Bill looked upon what he had wrought, and he giggled, and rubbeth his hands together, and even in the moment of his triumph, began to think of Next Time.

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